Thursday, October 1, 2009

New Fear Shift = New Gear Shift

Well, looky here. So who got afraid of their own blog?I'd like to have some fantastic explanation, like I won a Yummy Mummy contest and was flown all- expenses -paid to Not Fiji But A Remote Island Just Off Fiji Where There Is No Internet.

But that would be stretching the truth. The real reason is I wasn't feeling especially chipper,kinda blah, and felt I had nothing positive to say..and feared (ouch) this would not be an entertaining read.But it's been pointed out to me by one of my loyal fans that those are the times especially to be writing. All scope of emotion or experience are up for grabs here and it's not to entertain so much as to DO IT.

That said, yesterday I kicked the ass out of a long-standing fear and bought a brand new car, which I have told myself I could never afford, did not deserve etc etc. Had been driving my '95 Flintstones Accord for 11 years and trying to convince myself that it can last me for another 20 years, seriously! It was dying a new death every time I got into it in the morning, if it could have talked it would have told me to pull the plug and donate its parts.And organize a telethon for other ailing vehicles. So out of empathy alone -oh and the fact that my kids and dad live long drives away- I saw no other alternative than to go to Honda and buy a brand spankin' new manual gear shift Silver 2009 Civic.

I love dealing with the fella at the dealership who wants to sell you the extended warranty, undercoating, paint protector, fabric stain resister or whatever,PLUS throw in his puppy, just to sweeten the deal. He started off all friendly and cavalier, like it didnt matter, but then quickly swerved in for the kill with Extreme Guilting Measures..you'll be sorry later down the line...everyone else buys this...they don't make Hondas like they used to,everything's electronic and it costs later..But he didn't know whom he was dealing with with the guilting angle, I was raised Catholic and can see it coming a mile away. When I said no to everything he took a big sigh, paused, said a frank "Good Luck [Bitch]" and in a huff swiveled his chair away from me to face his computer screen to input my measly $17,500 bill. The guy was hilarious though, threw his papers on the side of the desk and , hand up, gave them the doggy command "STAY", said "Merry Christmas" as he handed me my paperwork, counted "1 and 2 and 3" as he waited for each paper to come out of the printer, threw garbage in the wastebasket with a "BeDAG!" ..There was a constant verbal play by play of every action he was doing, all with that Cliche Flourish.

And MAN does It FEEL GOOD to have this new car. I look into its shiny silver countenance and it reflects back a new me. So lame, so true. That old car was the last holdout from my old life before I started 'life on my own" (the cat being the other carryover, but she has since gone to Flea Heaven . I hope she got over her agoraphobia, but she is likely in a four -point clawing situation clinging to the underbelly of a cloud, Garfield-style, like she did the underbelly of my couch). There is true catharsis available here, a moving forward.

It's so exciting to shake up that drone that goes on in my head about financial limitations and worthiness, mostly misguided.. (there are options to, um, like RESTRAIN myself, show a little self control, man up with spending). So I just sent those ol' demons to their room for a nap. Hopefully, for a dirt nap.

As the Mop Tops (aka The Beatles) would sing:

Baby, you can drive my car
Yes, I'm gonna be a star
Baby you can drive my car *
And maybe I'll love you"
Beep beep mm beep beep, yeah
Beep beep mm beep beep, yeah
Beep beep mm beep beep, yeah

(* um but only if you have 10 years' driving , it's on my insurance ;-)

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